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Thursday, 30 June 2011

Why It Had To End.

One of the comments on the Beyonce/Collapse Board piece (below) suggested that the reason I love Beyonce is because I never really loved rock music in the first place. So in response I wrote the following comment, an explanation of me and rock's torrid past and why I just HAD to end our obsessive relationship.

WHY did you reject me Rock Music?! WHY?!?!?

All I ever did was love you, but you never loved me in return. Was it because I am fat? Gay? Irish? Because I use big words? TELL ME!! After all these years, I think you owe me some closure, Rock Music.

You were always there when I was a child, but I never really noticed you, how attractive you really were, until I hit puberty. The boy with the blonde curtains and the ripped cardigan changed all that. It was love at first sight. He introduced me to his friends – Kim, Thurston, Evan, Tad, J, even his bitchy girlfriend who I actually liked a lot. Through those guys I made some other amazing friends too, like Richey and JD. I felt like I had finally been accepted.

Oh, the memories Rock Music. We had our first cigarette behind the bike sheds together. It was you who got me drunk for the first time. You made me shout at my parents, and it was fun! You took me to festivals, to my first ever gig, you showed me things I had never seen before – things the telly would never show or the papers would never write about. I felt like I was a grown up, like I was part of the REAL WORLD. And you made me fell like being different was ok.

But then things changed. Sure it was me, growing in age and confidence I guess, but it was you too you know. You can’t deny that you were part of the problem. You never listened to me, you never took my ideas seriously. The truth is, Rock Music, that even though you went on and on about being friends with people who were “different”, you rejected those who didn’t fit into your narrow little criteria. It made me feel insecure, like I just wasn’t good enough for you.

All I wanted was for us to get away from this dismal place, to find somewhere better – somewhere different and new. Somewhere exciting, with different kinds of people, with new inspirations, new technology, new drugs and new kinds of fun. I was SURE you would have fit in there, I mean you fitted in with other new situations in the past, right?

But no. All you wanted was to stay where you were, stubbornly clinging on to your shitty position, happy to go on and on about the past without looking forward to the future. You were happy seeing those same old boring faces, John, Mick, Lou, Dave, the Rottens. The blonde boy and Richey were dead by then, and that was really sad – I missed them so much!

But it was the new crowd you started hanging with that was the final straw. Because they were the people who used to bully me. They were the ones who would spit in my face and call me “faggot”, and “fat bastard”. Because I didn’t like football, because I liked to draw and write, because I was “weird”. And I never told you this before Rock Music, but those guys used to corner me in the toilets at school and beat me up BECAUSE I WAS WITH YOU.

And you said they were your FRIENDS?! How could you?? Even when they openly rejected you by calling themselves “BritPOP” (which I seriously didn’t get as they still all bashed away on guitars), you stupidly, slovenly clung to the bullies with tongue lolling like a bloody idiot. I couldn’t bare to see you debase yourself for those bastards Rock Music. I just couldn’t take it.

That was when I met HER. Well, we had known each other for a long time, but for some reason I started to see her in a different way. She never talked about how amazingly different and important she was, the way you did, she just LIVED IT. She meant so much more to so many people, black, white, straight, gay, male, female, than you and your so-called friends did. What I wanted from you, but could never get, she gave me. She never asked for anything in return, she had no expectations, she was happy for me to be me, whatever way that was. Sure, we’ve had our ups and downs, but she’s still one of my closest, dearest friends. When I have problems I turn to her, and even if its in a small way, she really helps. More than you ever did.

And most importantly of all, she taught me how to DANCE.

Looking back now Rock Music, I think the truth is that you were scared. Scared of yourself, scared of me. Sure I was insecure and childish, but so were you, even more than me, and YOU were the older one!! And the worst thing is, you’ve still not changed. Your still happy to live in the same shitty conditions as ever, looking to the past, still happy to slag off everything that doesn’t conform to your narrow world view. Still happy to hang out with that bunch of fucking dickhead assholes. Because deep down inside, despite all the shit that comes out your mouth that’s who you REALLY are, isn’t it? The truth is you’ll NEVER push yourself to do better. You were scared then and you are scared now. Scared of your reputation and your responsibilities, scared of things that are different, scared of yourself, scared of me. Too scared to try and live up to what I thought you could have been.

Goodbye Rock Music, and I wish you all the best with the rest of your life.

Wednesday, 29 June 2011

Beyonce Is Not Your Enemy

Speaking of Queen B, here's a piece I wrote about her excellent performance at Glastonbury, and the rockist reaction on sites like the guardian and YouTube. It was published on the wicked Collapse Board - yowsah!!

Beyonce killed it last night at Glastonbury, and this morning the world woke up to a swarm of positive reviews all over the interwebs. However, some people are not happy with this situation, and have taken to leaving comments on sites like The Guardian (where the gig received a 5 star rating) and YouTube (where a clip of Lauren Laverne and Zane Lowe talking about the gig for the BBC has received critical attention), slamming Beyonce for being talentless, boring, pop shite, etc. Don't worry though, they're wrong and I will show you why. Beyonce's been my girl since Destiny's Child first broke through in the late 90s. That of course makes me biased, but I'm still going to approach this article in as subjective a manner as possible. If I fail... well, you can fucking sue me.

The first thing that struck me about the gig was listening to the crowd singing back Beyonce's own music, and realising how many women were there. Glastonbury is a massive (and truly diverse) festival, but it's easy to forget just how much of the musical coverage we see on the TV is male-orientated and how this skews our view of who exactly goes there. Who would have thought that the headliner on the final night could attract a capacity crowd that was majority female? And who would have thought that those women went there not because of sexual attraction or seeing naked flesh (though undoubtedly there were a few) but because they actually wanted to see a good show by an artist they like and respect?

You wouldn't know this by reading the comments on the Guardian website, which seems to be the new place where Mr £50 Rock Bore hangs out online, spouting off opinions about how rubbish Beyonce and pop music in general is. There are three main assumptions being touted by Mr Bore there, and in a nutshell they are: 1) Beyonce makes pop music, thus has no talent 2) Beyonce's stage show was had dancers thus it was the X-Factor, and 3) having pop performers at Glastonbury is going to kill the festival. Although comments like these come from a place of ignorance, they are to an extent understandable, as we are living in the X Factor age where mediocre talents receive huge media hype they do not deserve. What is less understandable is how Mr Bore is willing to overlook the vast discrepencies in talent between, say, Cheryl Cole and Beyonce, in order to make his own world view work. So, let's analyse them, shall we?

Read the rest here.

Tuesday, 28 June 2011

Joe & Niall @ Crosby, Liverpool

And after New Brighton, me and Joe went to see Anthony Gormley's Another Place on Crosby beach near Liverpool. We had a lovely weekend, thanks to Kat and Hockey for putting us up!

Some ace grafitti near the beach! It's a quote from Tyler The Creator's "Radicals", but the third word didn't quite come out the way it should have...

And on the way back we found Bey and Solange's house!

Monday, 27 June 2011

Joyce & Noel @ New Brighton

Here's some nice pics of Joyce D'Vision and Noel Order on a recent day trip to the lovely New Brighton. Videos shall be coming soon:

Saturday, 25 June 2011

MARY POPPERS Mix on Soundcloud for download

I have put the Menergy MARY POPPERS mix up on Soundcloud so people can download it. The previous Menergy mix CYBERNETIC LOVE has almost reached 700 downloads, which is great!

Menergy MARY POPPERS Mix by theniallist

ZSA ZSA NOIR - Hey Lean Diggy Doggy
DEN HAAN - Gods From Outer Space
GOLDFRAPP - I Wanna Life (Niallist MNRG edit)
SCISSOR SISTERS - Invisible Light
FRANKIE GOES TO HOLLYWOOD - Welcome To The Pleasuredome
VANITY 6 - Nasty Girl (Chuck Hampton Edit / Original)
SAM SPARRO - Pink Cloud
HARD TON - Food Of Love
MADONNA - Burning Up (Demo Mix)

Thursday, 23 June 2011

MEN support & gig pics

My support slot for MEN went really well, and here are pics for proof. Iit was a great gig, I thought MEN were amazing and I am chuffed to have been part of the bill (along with Bonjay and Organ Freeman). Thanks to Pete McConnell for the photos. There are some great ones, especially the pic of me and Joe - in the background you can see sitting in a chair DJ Lindsey, moments before she received a birthday lapdance from me.

Organ Freeman:


JD Samson - interviewed earlier the same day by The Niallist & Joyce D'Vision (footage coming soon):

MEN in action:

Aww, cute pic! The band baked cupcakes for DJ Lindsey's birthday! :-D

Wednesday, 22 June 2011

Manchester Mincers Parade 2011 pics and video

So, I posted about the Manchester Canal Street Mincing Parade last week, but here are some pics and videos from the event. It was FAAAABULOUS!

Here a clip from the beginning of the parade, where the Blige Sisters (Sheela and Isla) teach the crowd how to "swish":

Joyce D'Vision leads the mincers over the bridge and into Piccadilly train station:

More footage of the mincing:

Monday, 20 June 2011

Motor Club @ Islington Mill, Friday June 3rd

The other week I was asked, last minute style, to fill in for Punk Bunny at Motor Club at the Islington Mill, after Punk Bunny and Black Barbie were denied access to the UK by border controls. Motor Club is a new Manchester-based alt-queer party by the promoter's of Liverpool's fabelhaft Chew Disco. It was awesome, and I got to debut a new leather daddy-meets-Prince look in front of a very up-for-it crowd. Also on the bill were our mates the Bad Taste Barbies, the awesome Penelope, Dirtblonde and Severin. Here are some pics, which came out not too shoddy:

Here's some more awesome pics, all by the photographer Pete McConnell:

Kurt Dirt of the Bad Taste Barbies:


The excellent Penelope:

The Bad Taste Barbies in action:

Friday, 17 June 2011

Niallist Bollox Mixtape

I am djing at BOLLOX tonight!! Bollox is Manchester's premiere gay indie/pop/alt club night, held every month at Legends. Here's a mixtape I have put together of the kind of stuff I'll be playing:

Dusty Springfield - That's The Kind Of Love I've Got For You
Christeene - Fix My Dick
Britney v Kelly - Gimme More Shoes
Men - Credit Card Babie$
Bad Taste Barbies - Working Up A Sweat (Niallist PumpMixx)
Lio - Banana Split
Polysics - Memorabilia
Silverclub - The Goldener Reiter
Yo Majesty! - Party Hearty
Den Haan - Release The Beast
MIA v Pineapples - XXX Come On
Saltylips - If Ur A Bear (Niallist Mixx4Nick)
Gift Grub - Where's Me Jumper?
The Stone Roses - Elephant Stone
Schneider TM - The Light 3000

Thursday, 16 June 2011

Oh HAI sexy

My boyfriend is a centerfold! From this month's Disorder magazine.

Wednesday, 15 June 2011

Manchester Mincers Parade 2011

This Friday, Bollox is going to be preceded by a Mass Mince through Manchester's Canal Street. with the Manchester Mincer's Parade 2011. Just like Sluts, Mincers have the right to mince about in public, without shame, or fear of harrassment or abuse. So let's reclaim those public spaces, mince and be proud! From the Facebook event page:

On Friday 17 June 2011 Bollox club and the Blige Sisters will be hosting the worlds very first mass mincing parade and we want as many of you to come along and join us in mincing up (and reclaiming) Canal Street.

Have you looked around Manchester's gay village lately? There's a distinct lack of mincing these days. Lady Gaga does it, Alan Carr is doing very nicely from it, even Ozzy Osborne has admitted he loves a good old mince when he's onstage. Mincers seem to be everywhere but on the streets of Manchester - even the infamous Market St. mincer has disappeared.

And so, what is this "mincing" of which I speak? Well why don't we let the awesome Kate Hughes explain:

Above is a picture of my own special recipe for mince.
To make my meaty mince mixture you will need:

Half pound of lean mince
1 Onion
1 Pepper
3 cloves of Garlic
1 tin of sweetcorn
1 packet of dry roasted peanuts
1 stock cube
small tin of tomato pureƩ
Barbeque seasoning

Simply brown the onion, pepper, mushrooms, garlic and mince as you would for a bolognese sauce. Drain off all excess fat. Add the tin of sweetcorn (also drained) and the packet of dry roasted peanuts. Crumble the stock cube and mix it in. Add a small tin of tomato puree and make sure the mince mixture is evenly coated. Finally, add 2 tablespoons of barbeque seasoning, mix throroughly, and cook until the mince is sticky and almost blackened. Serve with rice.

Tuesday, 14 June 2011

Saltylips "If Ur A Bear (Niallist Mixx4Nick)"

This is post on a new remix I have finished, and the story behind it. Sadly, last month saw the passing of the legendary Manchester gay scene character Nick "El Beardo" Elliot. I didn't know Nick for a very long time, but I found him to be super-friendly and a genuinely nice guy. He came to Joe and I's screening of "Paris Is Burning" and we bonded over a love of the film and vogue culture.

Nick was the dancer for the band Saltylips, who had asked me to remix one of their tracks ages ago. I had heard "If Ur A Bear (Put Ur Hands Up In The Air)" and liked it, but it was the passing of Nick that made me pull my finger out and get the remix done. I have had to put a bunch of other work to the side to get this finished, but I think it has been worth it. It's a bit housey, it's a bit garagey, a bit booty and ever so slightly voguey. I am happy with it. My intention was to make something that Nick would have danced to, and Saltylips have thankfully informed me that this is the case.

SALTYLIPS If Ur A Bear (Niallist Mixx4Nick) by theniallist

You can download the wav file of the track here: http://www.sendspace.com/file/7y727z

This link is only going to last for 7 days, so if you want it, download it now.

Even though it is months away yet (next January, Joe and I have decided), at the next Vogue Brawl we will be introducing a special "beard" category so people with facial hair can compete against each other. The category will be named in memory of Nick El Beardo, and seems a fitting tribute to a man who is much loved and missed.

Monday, 13 June 2011

Friday, 10 June 2011

Scenes from a Slut Walk

Me and Joe attended the Manchester Slut Walk. If you don't know what a Slut Walk is, then look it up. I will be writing this up for Dangerous Minds, but in the meantime here's some pics:

You can read my article, called "EFIL4ZTULS: A report from a Slut Walk" here.