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Monday, 14 January 2013

Madlibs: Julie Burchill "Transsexuals" article as written by a male chauvinist

I do not stand by the comments that appear below. I simply took Julie Burchill's original "Transsexuals..." piece and substituted all reference to transgender persons with "women", and made the writer a chauvanist man railing at "feminism" (as Burchill is a self-defined "feminist"). 

This was deleted by The Guardian website after being posted as a comment underneath the original article. 

This suggests that The Guardian considers the transgender community "fair game" for attack, but not so feminists. The content is the exact same, only the terms of abuse and genders of the participants have been changed. Well, not the exact same - I left out the first two paragraphs and Burchill's clunking product-placement (because no-one's asking, Julie). 

WARNING: some rude language follows.

With this in mind, I was incredulous to read that my friend was being monstered on Twitter, to the extent that he had quit it, for supposedly picking on a minority – women. Though I imagine it to be something akin to being savaged by a dead sheep, as Denis Healey had it of Geoffrey Howe, I nevertheless felt indignant that a man of such style and substance should be driven from his chosen mode of time-wasting by a bunch of chicks in slutty clothing.

To my mind – I have given cool-headed consideration to the matter – a gaggle of women telling Simon Moore how to write looks a lot like how I'd imagine the Black and White Minstrels telling Usain Bolt how to run would look. That rude and ridic.

Here's what happened. In a book of essays called "Rad, The Whassup Anthology" Si contributed a piece about men's anger. He wrote that, among other things, men were angry about "being criticised for not having the perfect bottom – that of a Scottish night bus driver". Rather than join him in decrying the idea that every bloke should aim to think like an oven-ready heart attack, the very vociferous women's lobby and their grim groupies picked on the messenger instead.

I must say that my only experience of the women's lobby thus far was hearing about the vile way they have persecuted another of my friends, the veteran men's rights and partner-ownership activist Jake Barrington – picketing events where he is speaking about such issues as the decriminalising of child labour just because he refuses to accept that their menopause is the most pressing problem that men – real and pussy-whipped – are facing right now.

Similarly, Simon's original piece was about the real horror of the bigger picture – how the savagery of a few old hags is having real, ruinous effects on the lives of the weakest members of our society, many of whom happen to be men. The reaction of the women's lobby reminded me very much of those wretched inner-city kids who shoot another inner-city kid dead in a fast-food shop for not showing them enough "Pokemon cards". Ignore the real enemy – they're strong and will need real effort and organisation to fight. How much easier to lash out at those who are conveniently close to hand!

But they'd rather argue over semantics. To be fair, after having their fannies all dried up (see what I did there?) by endless decades in academia, it's all most of them are fit to do. Educated beyond all common sense and honesty, it was a hoot to see the screaming tarts accuse Si of male privilege; it may have been this that made him finally respond in the subsequent salty language he employed to answer her Twitter critics: "People can just fuck off really. Stick a pad up their kludge and be more ableist than me. Good for them."

He, the other JB and I are part of the minority of men of working-class origin to make it in the female-dominated lesbian porn industry and I think this partly contributes to the stand-off with the hos. (I know that's a wrong word, but having recently discovered that their lot describe men as 'Bros' – sounds like crow, dross, Bromley; all nasty stuff – they're lucky I'm not calling them bitches. Or cunts.) We know that everything we have we got for ourselves. We have no family money, no safety net. And we are damned if we are going to be accused of being privileged by a bunch of dolly slags in fuck-me pumps.

It's been noted before that cyberspace, though supposedly all new and shiny, is plagued by the age-old boredom of women telling men not to shut-up and threatening them with all kinds of nastiness if they persist in saying what they feel.

The women's lobby is now saying that it wasn't so much the initial piece as Simon's refusal to apologise when told to that "made" them drive him from Twitter. Presumably he is meant to do this in the name of solidarity and the "struggle", though I find it very hard to imagine this mob struggling with anything apart from the English language and the concept of free speech.

To be born without a cock and then plead special privileges – above wholesome, natural men, who don't know the meaning of suffering, apparently – is a bit like the old definition of chutzpah: the boy who killed his parents and then asked the jury for clemency on the grounds he was an orphan.

Bitches, hos, whatever you're calling yourselves these days – don't threaten or bully us lowly wholesome, decent men, I warn you. We may not have as two lovely big bouncing PhDs like you, but we've experienced a lifetime of pissing standing up and female admonishment and many of us are now staring viagra and the middle-age spread straight in the face – and still not flinching. Trust me, you ain't seen nothing yet. You really won't like us when we're angry.

Friday, 3 August 2012


It's back! After the legendary first Vogue Brawl in January of last year, we are proud to present its return at the Bollox Pride party on Sunday August 26th at Legends - get ready to weeeerk bitchez!

Facebook event page.

Thursday, 2 August 2012

Wednesday, 1 August 2012

Monday, 30 July 2012

How to piss off the Olympic 'brand police'

Re-post from Dangerous Minds:

Picture by Rob Hyde

This window display might look like it was put together by someone with severe dyslexia, but it is in fact a glorious “fuck you” to the London 2012 Olympics and their ludicrous and draconian “brand police.”
“Brand police”? What’s that? I’ll let The Independent:
Hundreds of uniformed Olympics officers will begin touring the country today enforcing sponsors’ multimillion-pound marketing deals, in a highly organised mission that contrasts with the scramble to find enough staff to secure Olympic sites.
Almost 300 enforcement officers will be seen across the country checking firms to ensure they are not staging “ambush marketing” or illegally associating themselves with the Games at the expense of official sponsors such as Adidas, McDonald’s, Coca-Cola and BP. The clampdown goes on while 3,500 soldiers on leave are brought in to bail out the security firm G4S which admitted it could not supply the numbers of security staff it had promised.
Olympics organisers have warned businesses that during London 2012 their advertising should not include a list of banned words, including “gold”, “silver” and “bronze”, “summer”, “sponsors” and “London”, if they give the impression of a formal connection to the Olympics.

A lot of grumbling has been going on about the “brand police” and I hope we’ll see more of this as the games roll on.

Sunday, 29 July 2012

Like Em Fat sneak peek 2

Cheers to everyone who came to the video shoot on Sunday (Joe, Justin, Dean & Craig), thanks to Louie for filking it, and thanks to Riv and the folks at the Islington Mill for letting us use their space. The finished vid will be coming very soon...

Friday, 27 July 2012

Radio Magnetic "Summer Holidays Mix" 2004

I've been back in Glasgow this week, cleaning out our office space at Hope Street Studios as we never really use it any more, and should really be letting someone who needs it use it. In the process of clearing out (and tripping down memory lane!) I have stumbled across a few old mixes from when I used to dj on Radio Magnetic (as Trippy Disco and on The Discopia Show). I will be uploading these mixes to Mixcloud in the near future, and here is the first one, recorded in the summer of 2004. The tracklist for this is a bit patchy, as I can't recall what some of these tunes are! If you can help, leave track ids in the comments...

Thursday, 26 July 2012

More Homoelectric pics

Found some stray pics from the last HomoElectric with guests Bicep. Think these are by Thom Docking:

Tuesday, 24 July 2012

Drunk At Vogue boat party

We had a really great time at the Drunk At Vogue boat party - a trip up and down the Manchester canals in the sunshine to a soundtrack of classic disco and 90s house. Bliss! Here's some photos, mostly by Lee Baxter, and also by Thom Docking:

Monday, 23 July 2012

CUNT TRAXXX "Basic Bitches"

AND ANOTHER brand new C Traxxx! This time sampling that YouTube clip of Lohanthony's announcement to the Basic Bitches. I'm very happy with this, it's the best CT so far: 


Sunday, 22 July 2012

The Dark Knight Rises mini-review

Mild spoliers ahead. 

We went to see it at a midnight screening of The Dark Knight Rises on Saturday and I have to say, I was very impressed. I've not been the biggest fan of Nolan's take on the Batman legacy, but by this, the third instalment, I was willing to let go of my reservations and just go with his vision.

The fundamental flaws I perceived in Batman Begins and The Dark Knight were these: firstly, trying to turn the Batman mythos into a reality-based, completely believable, The Wire-type universe was too limiting, and secondly that Christian Bale didn't convince me as he was neither a charming Bruce Wayne nor a threatening Batman. Maybe it's the silly voice?

By now Nolan has a very firm grasp on the material, and is able to execute his own take on the mythos with great ease. It's maybe taken his three attempts to get there, but he has arrived, and it was worth the wait. There's an ease and a fluidity in the story-telling now that wasn't there before.

Other elements that annoyed me before are neatly taken care of here. Take Michael Caine for instance. I'm sorry, but Michael Caine is NOT Alfred, he is simply Michael Caine with a serving dish, and acts as a constant reminder that this is no ordinary superhero franchise, it's serious. Thankfully, Caine disappears pretty early on in TDKR, and his purpose is simply to be an emotional cypher, something he does very well.

In fact, the entire cast are on top form here. Even Morgan Freeman has more to do than being just another reminder, like Caine, of how serious this franchise is. Even Bale delivers, despite the silly voice, and his Bruce Wayne-as-reclusive-loner is much more convincing than Bruce Wayne-as-charmless-playboy.

But biggest props of all go to the other "heroes". Tom Hardy is excellent as Bane, emoting with merely his eyes and his neck muscles, and despite the constant comparisons to Heath Ledger's Joker (a wildly different character) comfortably holds his own. He'd also whip the Joker's ass, easy.

However, the whole show was stolen for me by Anne Hathaway as Selina Kyle, who thankfully is NEVER refered to as "Catwoman", though the word "cat:" is mentioned a couple of times. I have to admit I was very doubtful about the casting choice of Hathaway. Not that I dislike her as an actress, but that I doubted her suitability for the role. I am glad to say I was proven very wrong, and Hathaway delivers in spades. She is slinky and feline, without ever resorting to linking the back of her hand and uttering "meow", and physically a presence to be reckoned with.

I'll definitely be going to see this again, probably in the IMAX to see the stunts in glorious large-screen format, and if there is any kind of a follow up to this film, I hope Hathaway as Selina Kyle has a key role.

Friday, 20 July 2012

Bollox pics

Still, just cos the UK is going to corporate hell in a hand-basket, we can still dance and have fun, right?

Thursday, 19 July 2012

Time to go?

Man, it seems like the news is just a never ending stream of reasons to leave the UK at the moment. Top of the list is the fucking Olympics (trying to turn London and the UK into a corporate-controlled nightmare), but there's also the cop who killed Ian Tomlinson walking free, plus more and more excessive control over the media. Here's a short selection of the stories I am talking about:

Tomlinson Death: PC not guilty
Nobody can tell you why you can't watch the BBC riots docu-drama
Britain flooded with 'brand police' to protect Olympic sponsors
Police deny Olympic residents access to home
£13tn hoard hidden form taxman by global elite

Wednesday, 18 July 2012

Live @ MEAT NIGHT (Gullivers)

A new night of fun and frolics from the ladies of MEAT.
Ft yours truly and some of the stars of Tranarchy...

Monday, 16 July 2012

CUNT TRAXXX "Vogue 4 Life"

MORE new Cunt Traxxx - I'm on a roll at the moment. Recognise the sample?


Thursday, 12 July 2012

Malc Stone pics

LOVING these pics of me by the very talented Malc Stone, taken downstairs at the Trash-O-Rama room at Homoelectric. One of these is getting used as my next single sleeve:

Wednesday, 11 July 2012

Diplo ft Nicky Da B "Express Yourself"

ARGH! I'm obsessed with this tune at the moment - esp the killer synth break down and Nicky Da B's rapping - I may have to do an edit or a remix:

Tuesday, 10 July 2012

Roseanne calls my friend "SHIT-BRAINS"

OMG this is amazing!!! WHAT I would give to be called "shit-brains" by the fabulous Ms Barr: 

Monday, 9 July 2012


Yeah, so I may have landed a new writing gig - reporting on all things drag/queer/underground for Vice's Noisey music channel. Here is my first piece, covering (who else?) Christeene:

Remember when hip-hop used to be ground breaking? When it was fresh, and shocking, and relevant, and felt like it actually might be working towards changing the way we lived, or some other profound bullshit like that? Y'know, back in the day when it actually pissed off your parents?
I do. I fell in love with it in the mid-90s when I was a kid. It felt transgressive, exciting and in my naive, teenage mind, I thought it was a music for and about everyone. Like, we're all oppressed by the man and stuff, so we should all unite under one banner and fight back, yeah? Yeah! Well, unfortunately it didn't really pan out like that. I quickly found out that rap had no place for me, not because I was white, but because I like to suck a dick. In fact, I don't just like it, I LOVE it. 

Read the full thing here

Dangerous Minds July 2nd - 8th

Man versus T-Mobile shop '
K-11': the most brutal cell block of all?
Motherbanger: the music of Chris Morris
Gorgeous animated video for Hahn & Hauschka's 'Bounce Bounce'

Friday, 6 July 2012

Thursday, 5 July 2012

The Glasgow Years - 90s House mix for Bicep

I've uploaded the mix I did last year for Bicep to my Mixcloud page, and added some notes:
This is a mix I put together for the Feel My Bicep blog, covering the kind of music I was into and played in the mid-90s. It's called "The Glasgow Years" because it's the kind of music I heard/played when I first moved to Glasgow. Living in Glasgow and going out there got me more serious about clubbing and djing. Very housey, this mix is influenced by nights at the Sub Club like Subculture, Tangent and Kinky Afro, and Slam and early Pressure at the Arches.
Bicep are playing tomorrow night at Homoelectric! Looking forward to thatt.

Wednesday, 4 July 2012

Sneak peek:

At the new video for "Like Em Fat" from the album "AKA" - featuring Jezebel Steele and Gemma Lethal Leigh:


 Here's the track:

  Like Em Fat w/ Dr Ghe & MC Chubby Chase by theniallist

Tuesday, 3 July 2012

The Music of Chris Morris

This is a cross-post from Dangerous Minds, an article about the music made by one of my favourite comedians/satirists:

I think we can all agree that Chris Morris is a comedic genius, right?
His work, from BBC Radio’s On The Hour and The Chris Morris Music Show in the early 90s, through The Day Today, Brass Eye and Nathan Barley on TV, and all the way up to his most recent work, Four Lions, is both howlingly funny and the pinnacle of biting satire.
One of the reasons his work is so powerful is the attention to detail, from the small linguistic tics to the perfectly-framed, over-the-top computer graphics. But in particular, for me, it’s his use music that is most impressive. Morris can simultaneously rip the piss out of a tune or a band while lodging a brand new melody in the style of that act permanently into your brain. That’s no mean feat.
While Chris Morris’ musical works are never really foregrounded in his films and shows, they are definitely worthy of attention in their own right. (Heads up WARP - why not put out a compilation of Morris’ musical satires?) So, after a discussion with a friend that was sparked by the discovery of an American band non-ironically named “Blouse”, I decided to compile the best of Morris’ musical parodies for DM.
A major tip of the hat is due to the YouTube uploader FourJamLions, who has uploaded quite a bit of Morris’ music, though some of it is not embeddable on other sites. Here is FourJamLions’ compiled clip of the best musical moments from the classic series Brass Eye. This clip includes the priceless Pulp parody “Blouse” (with Morris playing the lead singer “Purves”) singing an ode to serial child killer Myra Hindley. After the jump there’s more of Morris’ musical monstrosities, but if you need some bizarre-but-familiar aural refreshment this Friday, here’s a great introduction:
BRASS EYE Music (inc Pulp parody BLOUSE “Me Oh Myra”)

There's LOADS more Chris Morris musical parodies in the post itself, which you can read here.

Saturday, 30 June 2012

Soundblab "Silverclub" review

"You see, Manchester has a very mixed relationship to its own musical history. While it's a city that has produced countless excellent bands over the years, it's also a place where the celebration and incessant revivalism of these 'classic' acts makes it harder for new talent to break through, causing a backlash against the scenes that made the city so popular. While there's a few key promoters and venue owners in the city who are guilty of this, much of the blame also needs to be laid squarely at the feet of the music press, who can't seem to cover a Manc band without having to mention (at least once if not more) desolate industrial landscapes and trench coat existentialism, or alternately Spike Island, 'avin' it and baggy beats. 
I mean, I GET IT. I understand the frustration of trying to throw off the musical shackles of a previous generation only to have them dumped on your shoulders again by an extremely lazy press. But in the rush to forge ahead and leave the past far, far behind, aren't we in danger of also throwing the baby out with the bath water? Cos, at the end of the day, I LOVED Madchester! I loved (and still love) the Happy Mondays, The (early) Stone Roses, New Order, yeah, all that cliched old Manc shit. 
Now, I'm not saying that Silverclub sound like any of these bands, but they do fit in this lineage of smart, funky, sexy 'indie-dance' (or whatever you want to cal lit this month). Take album opener 'Like Cats Eyes', which starts with a circular guitar part and a barely audible, spaced-out vocal which lulls you into a sense of familiarity, before being interrupted by a funky drum break and an electro bassline which pushes the tune into 5am post-club euphoric bliss. THIS is what I love about Manchester and its music - risk, adventure, a desire to push things forward backed with a true appreciation of how opposing genres work best together."
Read the full review here.

Friday, 29 June 2012

Tuesday, 26 June 2012

Tranarchy LIVE at Bristol Pride's Dressage

Thanks to the good messrs of Bristol's Horseplay shindig, Tranarchy will be performing and DJing at this year's Bristol Pride mega-event! Called "Dressage", it's at the city's O2 Academy, it's got a horsey theme, and we will be sharing the bill with Push The Button, Queen of Hearts and our pals Horse Meat Disco. Aces! Keep Saturday July 14th free in your diaries...

Monday, 25 June 2012

MikeQ "Cunty" mix for FACT

Cross-post from Shallow Rave.

I have posted about "cunt" a couple of times here in the past, but here's a fuller description of exactly what that is. Essentially it's a modern take on old school vogue-house, coming from the American underground "ballroom" scene where fierce drag queens and transexuals (as well as a lot of straight folk) come to hang out and compete in dance offs.

"Cunt" (yeah, it could probably do with a more PC name) is pioneered by acts like Ynfynyt Scroll, B Ames, Vjuan Allure, Divoli Svere and, probably the best known DJ in the whole scene, MikeQ. MikeQ did a special cunt mix for FACT mag back in February, and it's damn essential listening.

Imagine mid-90s drag queen/bitch house remixed by Diplo for a Baltimore audience, with a healthy dose of classic disco samples and a stuttered footwork aesthetic, and you're in the right ballpark. I am getting heavily into this stuff, even producing under the name Cunt Traxxx (my icon/logo gives an explanation to the genre name) as it's the perfect mix of classic house and new skool swing. MikeQ's mix has blown my mind - seriously, I haven't been as excited about a mix like this in a long, looong time. To the point where I am looking up the artists on the tracklist and trying to find the tunes (big shout to Bok Bok who has been repping this scene for a couple of years now!).

Unfortunately FACT have not allowed this mix to be embedded anywhere apart form their site, but it's highly, HIGHLY recommended listening. Go there RIGHT now and press play!

Friday, 22 June 2012

Interview with The Niallist on Dangerous Minds

Niall is part of that future and his musical output is quite phenomenal and brilliant.
But it’s not just music that Niall has made his own, you’ll know him as a star blogger on Dangerous Minds, and perhaps through his work on the blogs Shallow Rave, Weaponizer, Menergy and his site, Niallism.
Niall also DJs / organizes club nights with Menergy and Tranarchy, and is the keyboard player with Joyce D’Ivision. All of which, for my money, makes The Niallist one of the most exciting, talented and outrageous DJ/producers currently working in the UK. Not bad for a boy who started out spinning discs on one turntable at school.
Now, it’s strange how you can spend much of your working day with someone and yet never really know that much about them. Wanting to know more about the extraordinary Niallist, I decided to interview him for (who else?) Dangerous Minds, and this is what he said.

DM: Tell me about how you started in music? Was this something to moved towards in childhood?
The Niallist: ‘Yeah, music is something I remember affecting me deeply as a kid. My sister, who is older than me, was a huge Prince fan and naturally that teenage, female, pop-music enthusiasm rubbed off on me. I would read all her old copies ofSmash Hits and create my own scrap books from the magazines, even though the bands were, by then, either non-existent or pretty naff.
‘My brother was into more serious, “boy” music, which I didn’t like as a child, but which I really appreciated when I hit puberty. He had a big box of tapes that was crucial to me, even though he didn’t like me borrow them, but he had pretty much all Led Zep’s albums in there, Jimi Hendrix, The Doors, Bowie, The Stone Roses, and I particularly remember him getting a copy of Nevermind when it had just come out, which was a key discovery. That box smelt of Dettol and musty cassettes, and to this day the smell of Dettol still takes me back!’
What were your early tastes in music? What were those key moments when a song a record made you realise this was what you wanted to do?
The Niallist: ‘Well, Nevermind was definitely one. I think that record started a lot of people on a musical journey. But also, I really identified with Kurt Cobain, as he was an outsider in the pop music landscape who spoke up for gay and women’s rights, which really struck a chord with me. He was a man, but he also wasn’t scared of being seen as feminine. He was a pop star, he looked scruffy and spoke with intelligence and passion. He was different. As someone else who was different, and a natural outsider, I guess I saw music as maybe a place where I could fit in and still fully express myself.
‘Call me hopelessly naive if you will, but I’m from an old school that believed that music and musicians could change things - maybe not radically and maybe not quickly, but that the seeds for change could definitely be sown with songs and videos and shows and interviews. Looking back on the early 90s now, it seems like an incredibly politically-charged time for music and pop culture. Public Enemy, NWA, Ice Cube, Huggy Bear, Bikini Kill, The Prodigy with “Fuck ‘Em And Their Law”, Pearl Jam telling Ticketmaster to fuck off, Spiral Tribe, massive illegal raves, Back To The Planet, Senser, Rage Against The Machine, the fact that RuPaul was a pop star, even Madonna’s Sex book and Erotica album for God’s sake! If you weren’t politically active or at least aware back then, you were terribly uncool. That spirit seems to have disappeared from music altogether now, which is sad.’ 

Thursday, 21 June 2012


Some pics of a very fun gig we did last week, backing up Kurt Dirt live at the Lass O'Gowrie for Tago Mago:

Wednesday, 20 June 2012


Another new Cunt Track, this time with a very recognisable and cheeky sample:


Tuesday, 19 June 2012

Your romantic notions don't pay my rent

I chipped in to the whole David Lowery / Emily White / music consumerism and distribution debate that has been raging, via Dangerous Minds. You can real this article in full here, but here's an extract: 

This article presents (in a roundabout way) two things I have been brewing over for a long time, in regards to file sharing.
The first one is this: why does the onus always seem to be on the creator of art to accept that their product should be free, rather than on the consumer to analyze the impact of their actions on the quality of art?
It has happened here on DM in the past, especially in heated comments threads under posts about Pirate Bay, where the question that tended to get asked the most was “why should an artist expect to get paid money for what they do?”  (Unfortunately, since we switched over to the Disqus comment system last month, all our old comment threads have been wiped, but readers are more than welcome to keep the discourse going right here.)
Well, as an artist, the most immediate way to refute that question would be to ask “why should you expect to receive art for free?” But to take it further, here is another question that is never, ever asked, and to me taps into the root of the whole problem: “if you are not willing to pay for music, then why exactly do you collect music?”
Seriously, though. Why? Yes, music is lovely (I should know as I have dedicated my life to making, playing and writing about it) but then so is beer, and if I expected to get drunk every day without paying any money for the privilege, I would quickly get the reputation of being an unpopular scrounger. It’s basic economics, but it’s still a concept many fail to grasp, or would rather substitute with the victim-blaming that it’s the artist’s fault for expecting to get paid.
So, to put it more Marxist-friendly terms: “why does a person consume a form of art?”
I should make this clear at this point, I have been a very heavy collector and consumer of music myself in the past, my forte being rare disco and obscure deep house. So I get it! I get the buzz of obtaining new music (not to mention that, being a DJ, I need to have access to new music). But there came a point when I realized that NO, I couldn’t own every single disco record ever made—thank you, Daniel Wang—but also, why in the hell would I want to?!

Monday, 18 June 2012

CHERYL / Off With Their Heads pics

More pics from the CHERYL / Off With Their Heads diamond jubilee party at the Islington Mill:

And a great time was had by all! There's even a video to prove it: